"So, what do you want to do?"

"So, what do you want to do?"

The age-old question that I dread to hear at every family gathering. "What do you want to do with your life?" I never know what to say to that question, because the response "I don't know" never seems to satisfy anyone. Not even me. So, what do I want to do with my life? 

For the past year or so, it seems as though I've been stuck in the same spot. Unable to move forward, but luckily, not going in the wrong direction. I'm still living at home with my family, working at a job that doesn't pay a livable wage, and I have no driver's license. Even though I am still in school, I have no idea what I want to do afterward. 

"How is college going?"

I can tell you how college isn't going. Even though I love learning, college has left me with more questions and stress than I can count. Do I transfer after college? Do I take my degree and run? If I do not transfer, what next? Did I pick the right major?  

Even though I am on the fence about transferring, I do have some colleges in mind that I want to go to. SUNY Oswego, for example, is a college that I really want to transfer to. Why? Again, I do not know. You are asking the wrong person to justify their actions. I am going to ask my advisor about transferring, however, if I do not get into at least one of my top three schools, I might give up.

"What do you plan on doing with your degree?"

Well, after a bit of back and forth, I decided that after college, if I decide to go the full four years, I want to get into copyediting and technical writing. I like journalism, I like researching, and I like writing. I've always been told that if you are good at something, you should make a living out of it, and that is what I am planning on doing. 

Finding an internship for my career path is difficult. It seems like everyone is hiring, but no one is hiring me. I do not want to stay at my current job, working in retail, as that is not a career but a job. I want people to be astonished when I tell them where I work. How do I achieve this, I don't know, I just have to keep looking and applying to places.

"What are your goals for the next 5 years?"

This question haunts me in my sleep. I do not know what I am going to do in the next five days. How am I supposed to know what is going to happen in the next five years? Just five years ago, I wanted to move to Canada after I graduated high school, so obviously, my goals changed. 

I have a million-and-one plans for my future that seems like it is going to be impossible to achieve. Trying to narrow my goals down seems like a lot of unnecessary pressure. At least I know what I don't want for my life, which makes it easier. I just sometimes wish I had everything handed to me, or at least everything planned out for me.

The end

When all is said and done, I am glad that I am in a different place in life than where I was two years ago. Even though I don't know exactly where I want my life to go, I am at least headed in the right direction. I have the most fragile outline of a plan of action and I feel slightly more comfortable. Who knows, maybe in five years, I can look back on this and laugh at myself.