My (Uncommon) College Experience and Why I Want to Go Back

Hello everyone! 

As some of you may know, I created this blog several years ago as part of a college courses. I graduated from Monroe Community College with a degree in Communication and Media Studies with a concentration in Journalism. One of the courses that I took was Principles of Journalism. Everyone in the class had to create their own portfolio and their own blog. This is the blog in question. The professor encouraged the class to continue posting on our blogs and to constantly update our portfolio. While I have unfortunately given up on maintaining my portfolio, I have not fully given up on this blog. I always had a passion for writing, and publishing my works on this page will help keep me accountable in continuing my passion. Putting my ideas and opinions out there has always been important to me. 

In this post I want to talk about my college experience. My college experience may look a little different than the norm. Though my experience is unique to me, I know that there may be at least one person who is in a similar situation that I was and currently am in. I want everyone to know that even though your college experience may be nontraditional, your journey is still important, as it will shape who you are in the future.

Spoiler warning: I do get a little personal in this story!

I graduated high school in 2020 and started college that fall. I was not in the correct headspace when it came to choosing a college and major. I had lost my first job due to the pandemic and I wasn't able to see my friends due to the lockdown. I ended up choosing a college that I could not afford and studying a major that I did not enjoy. At the end of that semester, I suffered a minor mental break and decided to drop out of college. During that time, I felt nothing but shame and disappointment. I felt as though I failed everyone who supported me through my (short) college journey.

After I dropped out, I got a job in childcare. While working in at that job, it felt like I fell through rock bottom and was floating further into darkness. The hours were long, the work was tiring, and I had no ambitions or goals outside of work. 

Then, in October of 2021, I caught Covid. While I was lying in bed—barely able to breathe and unable to stay awake for more than 10 minutes at a time—I came to the realization that I hadn't accomplished anything in my life. I was a college dropout that didn't have anything going for her outside of work. And the job I had only cared about when I was able to come back to work. 

12 days of being sick, and my boss only reached out to me twice. The first time they reached out was before I even got my test results back. They asked if I could come in, as they thought my symptoms were only the flu. I had a fever of over 100 degrees and I was already having difficulty breathing at this point. Yet they still wanted me to come in. And again on day 10, when they asked if I felt better enough to get back to work. Not if I was feeling better, but if I felt good enough to come in to work.

During those 12 days, while I felt like I was at death's door, I came to a realization. I didn't want to die as the girl who dropped out of college and was working for minimum wage job with no ambitions. In those moments, I wanted to be more. I wanted a college degree. I wanted to work at a job that appreciated me as a person, not just as an employee. And I wanted to have a passion for something again.

Once I got better, I applied to MCC. I originally wanted to major in English; however, I quickly decided against it. Though I enjoyed writing, I didn't think that English was the way to go to pursue my passion. I wanted a major that allows me to write and pursue other things as well. This is where I decided on journalism. MCC didn't have a strict journalism program, so my degree, on paper, is Communication and Media Studies with a concentration in Journalism. This allowed me to write and learn a variety of other valuable skills; like how to create and maintain close relationships in a professional setting, how to use social media to market, and how to create create a variety of different documents.

Half way into my first semester, I quit my job at the daycare and started working at a grocery story. While my time at the grocery store didn't last long, I was happier at the store than I ever was at the daycare. I experienced a work environment that appreciated me not only as an employee, but as a person too.

During my four semesters at MCC, I was a writer for the student newspaper, I received a scholarship, and I was on the dean's list every semester. I met amazing people and I was writing stories that was important to me to tell. I graduated in Fall of 2023, and it was most important and memorable moments in my life.

After MCC, I attended SUNY Oswego. I was excited to finally attend a four year school and receive my Bachelors degree. However, I was greatly unprepared. I didn't receive as much financial aid as I thought, and the jobs that I was working at didn't pay enough to cover the remaining fees. After thinking that I finally made it, I again had to leave college due to financial hardships. The shame and disappointment that I felt 4 years earlier returned and I was once again back at square one. 

For a while, I felt defeated. It felt like I was at rock bottom again. I didn't know what to do or how to move with my life. Thankfully, I had my family to lean on during this time. They encouraged me to not give up and to keep moving forward.

I took a break from my education and instead focused on finding work. It took hours of applying to jobs and hearing nothing back, but soon enough I was hired at my current job. And while it isn't my dream job, I have learned a lot of skills that might eventually help me get my dream job.

Now that I am at better place financially and mentally, I am considering about going back to college. However, I've put more thought into my decision instead of rushing back into it. I want to return to MCC to get a certificate in Paralegal Studies.

I have taken several course that were law related. I don't think I have the mental or intellectual compacity to be a lawyer. But as a Paralegal, the work sounds like something I could excel in. I have great research skills, I do well in communicating with people during stressful situations, and I know how to create a variety of documents.

My hesitancy of returning to college is the thought of failing again. I dropped out of college twice and the thought of doing it again scares me. I enjoy the educational aspect of college, which is why I did so well at MCC. I have always excelled in my education, I was in the top ten in my class in high school and I took several AP and Honors classes. The roadblock for me has always been financials. I do not come from a rich or financially well off family. But I know if I keep working and saving up, I might be able to go back to college.

I might not be going back to college this semester, or the next. I have let myself down several times when it comes to my education, but I am not going to give up on my goals. Someday in the future, I am going to go back to college and make myself proud.